Being in Japan made me think of many things, and one of it is about relationships. Monogamy is not taken as seriously here as it is in other places I have lived in. For example, I had read a magazine article that said, “because affairs are common in Japan, divorce rates are low.” I did a double-take when I read that, as surely it should say “even though affairs are common…”
Marriage is seen to be a contract between two willing parties. A contract which means a few things; the husband will provide for the family, whilst the wife ‘manages’ the household, and that there should be one or two kids. I have heard that once there are two children in the picture, things in the bedroom get placid and both the husband and the wife look elsewhere for excitement.
I do not agree or disagree with this and merely accept it as the way it is here. I don’t however agree when foreigners, coming from a different cultural background practice this because of the willingness of the ‘local participants’ who are usually female. If a burger throws itself at you when you’re hungry, would you still eat it even though you have a nice cooked dinner waiting? Perhaps that is not a good metaphor, as it is not as serious an issue (if you overeat), but you get the point.
There is someone I know, who I had thought was different from the crass foreigners around as he seemed to be in a loving relationship with his wife and together have two children. I was however proven wrong and left gobsmacked as I saw him in town a few nights back, holding hands and laughing with a young local girl. I guess Charisma Man strikes again.
I told this story to another friend of mine, who just told me that it is best not to have faith in anyone these days. I know that is not the solution, but perhaps that way, I won’t ever be disappointed again?
Or, is it just that what I hold as important principles in life are different from others and that I should just accept that?